How to become a vampire (vampires only please)?

hi. im a fat ugly mexican kid. im like, really fat and all the girls hat me so i think im gonna turn gay. I think i wanna be a vampire so i dont have to be gay. last time i talked to a girl she pushed me off a 500 foot cliff next to my school. i wanna sparkle in the sun and run fast and be hot and have cool hair and be tall. what should i do to be a vampire. thanks